Chopping Mall
Directed by Jim Wynorski
Written Jim Wynorski and Steve Mitchell
Starring: Kelli Maroney, Tony O'Dell, Russell Todd, Karrie Emerson, Barbara Crampton, Nick Segal, John Terlesky, Suzee Slater, Mary Woronov
Two and a half stars (out of four)
Summary: Beefing up their security, a suburban mall invest in three cutting edge anti-theft robots to patrol the mall after it locks down at midnight. After a lightning strike shorts out the robots, they are activated with a new program to kill anyone in its path. Coincidentally, eight mall employees get trapped in the mall after staying after hours for a private party. The robots react violently and start of the obligitory killing spree, ensuring that by the time the doors reopen in the morning, there won't be eight teens left to walk out.
Short take: I think it's pretty amusing that a film called Chopping Mall actually features no chopping. Apparently it was originally called Killbots, but after some dismal test screenings in Arizona, producer Roger Corman and Wynorski decided to change the name before remarketing it. No matter what the title, though, Chopping Mall is still 100% an '80s horror flick, complete with bad actors and cheesy special effects. I actually think that's half the charm. It's pretty clear the Wynorski isn't taking himself too seriously here and I definitely think it adds to the film's camp charm. While it certainly never approaches the level of quality horror (like Halloween or Scream), it's still full of fun and total nonsense.
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Night of the Comet
Directed by Thom Eberhardt
Written by Thom Eberhardt
Starring: Catherine Mary Stewart, Kelli Maroney, Robert Beltran, Sharon Farrell, Mary Woronov, Geoffrey Lewis, Peter Fox
Two and a half stars (out of four)
Summary: After a comet wipes out most of the human race (they've all been turned into piles of dust), a few survivors come out of hiding and make contact with a government installation that has sinister plans for those not disintrigated or turned into zombies.
Short take: More cheesy '80s horror flicks! Once again, the charm is in the cheesy camp and this flick is swimming in it. Let's just say that not only is one of the survivors a cheerleader, but there's a montage set to Cyndi Lauper's "Girls Just Want to Have Fun" (even though IMDB says its sung by some woman named Tami Holbrook). I think that kind of says it all, right?
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Galaxy of Terror (or Mindwarp: An Infinity of Terror)
Directed by Bruce D. Clark
Written by Bruce D. Clark and Marc Siegler
Starring: Edward Albert, Erin Moran, Ray Walston, Bernard Behrens, Zalman King, Robert Englund, Taaffe O'Connell, Sid Haig, Grace Zabriskie
One and a half stars (out of four)
Summary: When a rescue ships travels to a distant planet, the crew is surprised to discover a strange pyramid. Surprise turns to dread, however, when the crew starts facing their nightmares, often with fatal results.
Short takes: What? I mean, what? While it's nice to see Freddy Krueger without his glove full of razor blades, I swear that this movie makes absolutely no sense. Some of the acting is surprisingly good, but it certainly doesn't make up for a total lack of cohesive storytelling. Somehow dismal isn't quite a strong enough word.
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Flash Gordon
Directed by Mike Hodges
Written by Lorenzo Semple Jr.
Starring: Sam J. Jones, Melody Anderson, Max von Sydow, Topol, Ornella Muti, Timothy Dalton, Brian Blessed
Three stars (out of four)
Summary: Football star Flash Gordon (Jones) and two friends travel to the planet Mondo, ruled by Ming the Merciless (von Sydow), who decides to take the Earthlings as his slaves. Dale (Anderson) is set to be Ming's new concubine, Dr. Zarkov (Topol) will have his memory wiped and be set up as one of Ming's scientists and because he resisted, Ming has ordered the execution of Flash. Now all Flash has to do is save himself, rescue his compatriots, stop Ming and save the Earth from distruction. Of course, it's should be no problem for Flash (ah ah ah)!
Short take: I think Flash Gordon should always be awarded bonus points for the scenes featuring Flash's resistance, but only for that moment where Flash gets hit in the face with a metal ball. In retrospect, though, I have to wonder whether my enjoyment of this flick stems from the situation in which I saw it. With everyone singing along to the theme, it's easy to get caught up in all the flash (sorry about the pun) and spectacle. Still, Flash Gordon has a very straightforward story (which is apparently a rarity in the science fiction genre) and anything with Max von Sydow can't be all bad. Like The Rocky Horror Picture Show, it's a fine feature made even better by a screening with a large crowd without a lot of shame.
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